No, I’m nor apologizing for learning to love myself, but for the book, “Learning to Love Myself” and what I forgot to tell my readers. A lady who left me a review on Amazon, had this complaint about my book:
“The author certainly bled her story onto the page and revealed intimate parts of her life. However, at the end of the tale, I am still scratching my head, trying to figure out why she kept the secret until she was well into her sixties. Moreover, I was a bit disappointed that the actual telling isn’t included in this memoir. Thus, we never really get to see whether or not the fears about the reactions of her husband and children were valid or not. I’m assuming the fallout was far less than she had built it up to be in her mind.”
She’s not the first to question my silence for so many years. To be honest, I’m a bit sick to death of trying to explain to those who have never been victims of incest why one would keep silent for so long. Incest victims know why. So I’m not going there in this post. But her other comment is what has prompted me to say I owe readers an apology: as strange as it may seem, it never occurred to me to write the scene of my disclosure into “Learning to Love Myself“. And the only reason I can think of is that my first memoir had been out for a year; there are videos and TV interviews on my website that tell all about that. Somehow or other, I foolishly assumed everyone knew that part. Duh! How could they know if they hadn’t read the first book and had never visited my website and watched the videos? Double Duh!
So, I’ve just spent 2 hours rewriting a section of “Learning to Love Myself”. It’s too late for those who have the printed version, but maybe they’re on my mailing list for this blog and will get to read it in my next post. However, I’ll be re-publishing the eBook version so that future readers won’t be left in the dark and disappointed.
As for that bit about why I kept silent into my sixties, I can only say, if my daughter hadn’t asked a leading question, I would have taken that secret to the grave. So deep was my shame about my past and my fear of losing the happiness of my present.
Stay tuned for the next post …