SIRI! YOU KILL ME!
Siri? Listen up. You kill me. I swear you were programmed by my husband…or someone like him…someone who’s 90% deaf!
How else do you explain the mistakes you make every time I’m texting?
No, don’t blame my accent. Yes, it’s Canadian infused with some Australian (the price I’ve paid for being 40-years married to an Aussie who still speaks “Strine”. Have you read that book, Siri, the one by I.P. Daily?
But here’s the thing. Just now I was having a nice little text exchange with my daughter, telling her I’m at a bit at a loss with no books to write, no workshops to prepare, no talks to give…after complaining of being overloaded for the past 6 months…when I dictated this into my iPhone:
“It’s the strangest feeling to have no seminars to prepare no talks to give no books to write. I’m feeling a little bit lost. Think I’ll go work on my cupboard and get rid of all those bottles of stuff from your bedroom.”
And what do you go and write?
“Think I’ll go work on my cupboard and get rid of all those bungholes of stuff from your bedroom.
Now really, Siri, how rude can you get? How did you get “bungholes” out of “bottles”?
Oh I know: you HAVE read that “Strine” book. “Bungholes” is an Aussie word for…well you know. You really need to get your head out of your backside Siri!
Yeah, I know. Blame me: tell me I speak too quickly. That’s what my deaf Aussie husband says too. Ah! That’s it. You weren’t just programmed by someone with hearing loss. Your programmer was a deaf Aussie like my husband. Siri, between you and him, I don’t have a chance.
Like, remember last week…or is your memory going along with your hearing…when I dictated that I didn’t feel like watching TV with hubby as he keeps “flicking channels”.
Do you remember what you wrote for “flicking’?
It started with “F” and ended with “ing” too!
Shame on you, Siri!