TO BLOG or NOT TO BLOG ABOUT INCEST & CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE: THAT IS THE QUESTION!

5 Comments

  1. Mary
    Mary October 1, 2012 at 11:13 pm .

    So true, I was not afraid to blog about my abuse and incest, now my abusers have passed on, my family all know about it, but when I started my blog back in 2008, I wasn’t worried about anyone and how they felt about it, it helped me in my healing to post my poems on my blog, it was a release for me, and still is…Thank yo for posting this and to come out from under and write about it is a step in our healing…:)

    1. CRUISEROO
      CRUISEROO October 2, 2012 at 9:11 pm .

      Thanks Mary. As always, wise words from you. Knowing your story as I do, I can certainly understand any reluctance by incest victims to blog but you rose above that and knew you had to do it for yourself. That’s what we all have to remember: we need to put ourselves first in this case, not second or third. We’ve done that for too long by keeping quiet. However, there’s no doubt it’s easier for us whose abuser has died and where the rest of the family already knows the details to blog about something so personal. I wish for all others, like Tyla who has also commented here, that sooner or later they will put themselves first this time and truly come out from under. There are too many of us out here. Each one of us who speaks openly of our own abuse, opens the door for those still afraid to walk through it. Thanks for commenting Mary. Your poems and input to our private group are invaluable.

  2. Tyla
    Tyla October 2, 2012 at 4:16 pm .

    I will admit I am still afraid of blogging about my demons. Incest. I still pen under a ghost name. Another thing to be ashamed of. Many days I avoid blogging to heal by writing about other topics totally unrelated. Sometimes months go by when I don’t blog at all. I’m not blogging for traffic obviously, my intention is to help myself heal. I’m likely failing at that though. I’m out, but still under. I would like to join your private group. Thank you.

    1. CRUISEROO
      CRUISEROO October 2, 2012 at 9:22 pm .

      Dear Tyla … when I see you write “another thing to be ashamed of” I am so saddened. Shame is the cross we bear, undeservedly, until we can accept that it’s the abuser who should be ashamed, not us! But you know, even if you are blogging under a ghost name, you are making progress. Is the reason for the ghost name for fear of other family members learning all about it and perhaps upsetting them? If they know, and support you, then you don’t need a ghost name. If the reason is concern about friends, work associates knowing etc., realize that many of these people, contrary to what you think, will be most sympathetic and understanding. Yes, they may be a bit shocked initially, but ultimately they will admire your courage and support you. And those that don’t aren’t worth your time or consideration. Incest, unless you were the abuser, is nothing to be ashamed of or blame yourself for. The responsibility for what happened to you lies squarely on the shoulders of the abuser.

      Forge on as you are doing. One day, you will be ready to say your name, just like those who join AA. When it all comes out, it’s like the sun beaming through after days (in this case, years) of rain. The relief is enormous. Don’t be afraid.

      By the way, you don’t need to blog daily and you don’t need to blog non-stop about incest either. You are MORE, way more, than an incest victim/survivor. Blogging about other things keeps you focussed on the good things in your life. And there are some, aren’t there?

      Lastly, you’ve just made another huge step toward fully coming out from under by joining my private group at Facebook. Perhaps there, amongst fellow survivors, you will find the courage to go all the way and come out from under.

      Hugs,

      Viga

  3. CRUISEROO
    CRUISEROO October 2, 2012 at 9:21 pm .

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