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TRANSGENDERISM: Love has no Gender!

Thoughts and commentary on books read and reviewed by Viga Boland, author and hostess of VIGALAND PODCASTS.

Hello this is Viga Boland bringing you The first of a new series of podcasts from Vigaland. I hope you will enjoy the new direction I am taking as I introduce my followers and listeners to what I feel are unforgettable memoirs written by other writers. Many of these memoirs, like my first one, “No Tears for my Father” are disturbing, as they need to be. The writers behind these stories have experienced sides of life that others will find unbelievable, even abhorrent. Yet, everyone of these stories is true, and like me, those writers have felt compelled to share their stories to help others living with the same hidden and denied experiences; to help them understand that they are not alone. Just as I did, these authors write to enlighten the unenlightened, and to shine a light where right now there is darkness, misunderstanding, confusion, denial, and saddest of all, ignorance.

13518016_243914002657226_22686374_oThe first book I would like to tell you about is “I promised not to tell” by Cheryl B. Evans. That is not the author’s real name. Why did she write under a pen name and promise not to tell? Well if I can pull a parallel, When my father was sexually abusing me as a child, he made me promise not to tell. I kept that promise even after I left my childhood home because I was so afraid of my father. In my later years I kept the promise and didn’t tell as I felt it necessary to protect my mother my husband and my children from the ugliness of truth. After 40 years of silence I finally spoke up. I had nothing more to fear: both my parents were dead and I knew my family loved me enough to accept my horrible truth.

Cheryl speaks the truth in her book “I promised not to tell” but at this time, since all members of her family are still alive, she is compelled to protect her husband and family, especially the child who is at the centre of her book. She calls him Jordan. Jordan’s gender at birth was female. She was a bright happy tomboy of a child and her family loved her dearly along with her older sister. But as Jordan approached puberty her personality drastically changed. She became depressed, withdrawn and close to suicide. What on earth had happened to this happy-go-lucky child?

As you will read if you buy this book, and I certainly hope you will, Jordan was struggling with her gender identity. She was a girl but in her depths, where no one could see, Jordan felt she was a boy. Seeing her breasts sprouting and her periods coming on, she was beside herself fighting mentally what she couldn’t change physically. Luckily, Jordan had parents who truly loved her and wanted only that she be happy. When she revealed what she was feeling to them, their only thoughts were to do what was best for their child. What wasn’t best was to insist she keep living her life out as a girl. These loving, brave parents accepted the reality that their child was transgender, and set about to do what was necessary for her to transition to a boy.

I have to tell you, “I promised not to tell” is eye-opening. Cheryl details the next ten years of hardship, misunderstanding, downright ridiculous thinking and the discrimination transgender people face.

Her book is a plea for understanding, to become informed before making judgements. Just this morning after reading and writing a review of this book for Reader’s Favorite, I read this article: 

Titled Transgender patients face health-care discrimination, inadequate treatment. It goes on to state that “It’s estimated there are now 25 million transgender people around the world, and in a groundbreaking series published in the medical journal The Lancet, the authors say many are routinely denied basic human rights.”

“Faced with stigma, discrimination and abuse, transgender people are pushed to the margins of society, excluded from the workplace, their families and health care,”

These statements are just one of the reasons Cheryl B Evans has promised not to tell or reveal Jordan’s true identity. Now close to his 20s and finishing high school, Jordan is looking forward to attending university and getting his degree. But how might his being transgender affect his future relationships and his eventual career? Cheryl has every reason to promise not to tell all, but focus only on what readers need to learn about transgenderism…and it’s a lot!

How timely is Cheryl B. Evans book “I promised not to tell”! She states in the back of her book that she hopes she hasn’t made a mistake in publishing it. The only mistake would have been not writing and publishing this book. Cheryl is presenting us an opportunity to look closely at our children, to observe their behaviour and above all, to listen to what they are telling us. She is giving us a good reason to question the position taken by religious groups that a transgender child “is not of God”. If so many people believe in God, that that we are here on this earth because God made us all, and we believe that God makes no mistakes, so did God make a mistake when a girl is really a boy? Does God really have anything to do with the gender identity of our children? I think not.


I have recently read only one other book on this topic that moved me as much as this one. It is “I Am Woman ” by Daliah Husu who transitioned from male to female. You can read my review of Daliah’s book at THIS LINK. and I will most likely share more thoughts on her book in a future podcast. She has also agreed to read a section of her book for a future podcast. I’m sure you’ll be intrigued by what this beautiful woman has to share. So please stay tuned and share the Vigaland podcast links with your friends.

Cheryl maintains a website and blog at and has set up a Facebook page under the same name I.e “written by mom”. She has informed me “I promised not to tell” will be available on Amazon on July 15th, all being well. It can’t be read too soon. You can read my full review of I PROMISED NOT TO TELL on my website for memoir writers, MEMOIRABILIA.

Kudos to you, Cheryl for writing it and to you, Jordan, for letting mom do so. What you have both done is incredibly important for all who know that love has no gender!