WHY THERE WERE NO TEARS FOR MY FATHER ON THE DAY HE DIED
An Excerpt from the “Aftermath and Afterthoughts” at the conclusion to the memoir, “No Tears for my Father”
Vigaland Book Podcast #19 of the Memoir, “No Tears for my Father”
Today’s Podcast, #19, is the second last podcast from my memoir, “No Tears for my Father” . Why am I ending the podcasts of this book here, where up till now, we are less than half-way through the story? The Podcast explains the reasons and I apologize if you were one of the listeners who was enjoying listening because you prefer to listen than to read and you have never purchased my memoir. What can I say? I have my reasons. As I said, the podcast tells you why.
To anyone who has been listening and following the podcasts to date, you already know why I had no tears for my father on the day he died. Reading the entire book will give you even more reasons for my lack of tears.
I am currently reading a book where the story is so similar to mine, it could be my story. This victim of sexual abuse, Cheryl Cuccio, became quite famous, not because she wanted to, but because she arranged to have her sexually abusive father killed. Her story was even made into a movie starring Renee Zellweger. Maybe you’ve even seen it. And now, I’m sure her own book, “Incest, Murder and a Miracle” will make her even more famous, not that she ever wanted fame to come from disclosing the ugly truth about what her father did to her. None of us do. In writing “No Tears for my Father” all I wanted was to let other victims of sexual abuse know they are not alone, that they are not to blame for what happened to them, and that they too can survive and thrive. Cheryl did. So did I. But just like Cheryl, I had no tears for my father. All I had were tons of unanswered questions and tears for the father I wanted to have and every child deserves, but didn’t get. Where did my real father go and why? There are no answers, and hence no tears. I looked at him lying dead in his bed and felt nothing. Not happy; not sad; nothing.
There will be one more podcast, #20, based on my book after this one. In the meantime, I share with you the poem that ends the book and says it all. Thanks for listening and reading this post. And thanks to all of you who have supported my efforts to spread awareness of incest and child sexual abuse by purchasing my book: “No Tears for my Father”
There were no tears for my father on the day he chose to die
There was no-one in the room to even say “goodbye”
He picked the perfect moment; he timed it very well
To take his leave of life and free us from his hell
And I tried to find some sadness, tears somewhere deep inside
But the well had emptied long before the day my father died
©Viga Boland, 2013
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